Once upon I time when I was in primary school, this was this time when we almost graduated. As a primary school kid I was so enthusiastic discussing with friends what secondary high schools we should go to. I said to my friend, “I think we have to go to school A because everyone said that school A is good”. Then my friend replied, “Well..not really…my parents actually told me that that school has a lot of naughty kids! How about school B?”. I then replied, “Nooooo…my parents told me otherwise.”. Anyway the discussion continued and we haven’t decided what school we should go to.

So I then went home and discussed with my parents what school I should go to. My parents wanted me to go to School A but I kept saying to them that there are a lot of naughty pupils in that school. My parents then replied me with an answer that I will never forget, “Seriously, if you think about it, even the best school on this planet will have naughty pupils in it.”.

If we think about it the same principal also applies to Christian communities! I used to expect that people who join a Christian/Catholic community are holy, saints, sinless, etc. When I first joined a community I felt so happy being among the community members. They were so kind, warm etc etc etc not until 6 months later! After 6 months “living” with them in the same community, I can start seeing their true characteristics and hey, they weren’t like as who I expected before. There I realise that there is no such thing called a perfect community. In a community there are only a bunch of sinners who want to be better people (including me).

So, in this opportunity I want to share with you the different stages being in a community so that we’re not surprised what living in a community is like.

STAGE 1: THE ANGELS
I call this “The Angels” because when we first join a community everyone is like an angel! They’re so kind, warm, etc. Well, what do you expect? To make you stay of course they have to be kind to you! It’s exactly the same as if a man just starts going out with a girl. When he first goes out with her, surely he will not show his bad habit, etc. He wants to look charming, charismatic, etc.

STAGE 2: THE DEVIL WITHIN
The next stage is the “Devil Within” stage. We normally arrive at this stage after being active in the community for several months. The people who we used to look up to will look different. At this stage our faith is tested and we will normally find out whether we really-really want to be in the community and serve God or we’re purely in the community for the sake of having extra friends, etc. In this stage we will start finding out the problems within the community. A lot of people – when they don’t have a strong motivation – normally left at this stage.

Conflicts also happen a lot during this stage.

STAGE 3: THE RECOVERY
When we can overcome the second stage, we now arrive at the third stage: THE RECOVERY. During this stage we start realising that no one is perfect. Even the leader of the community is just a mere human (just like us) who isn’t perfect. At this stage, when we’re still hanging in there, we can start accepting others the way they are. We can also practice forgiveness and what Jesus taught us about “washing feet” and all that.

STAGE 4: THE GRAND FINALE – THE GOD WITHIN
Then the final stage is “The God Within” stage. If we can arrive at this stage then we’ve been able to do some of the things that Jesus has taught us in the Bible. Our love for others is strengthened and on this stage where we finally the true joy of being in the community.

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, just hang in there. These principals can also be used in our relationship with others, too (eg. with our partner, etc). I have now found out how hard it is to accept others the way they are. It’s very easy to expect people to be like us but it’s very-very-very-very difficult to really accept them the way they are. However, after 10 years surviving in the community, God has given me grace to always remind myself that if I call others “freaks” then I’m a freak myself because everyone is created unique with their own way of thinking, habits and backgrounds.

God bless,
Tommy